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If anyone ever wonders why “a$$hole” is my favorite cuss word, well, this is why…

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Jen is off to an early lead in the flair department.  Check out her training outfit from yesterday.  There’s no way Jamila and I can compete with those shoes.  If for some reason the sun decides not to shine in Charlotte, I think our team will be ok since our leader obviously glows in the dark.

Wicked Witch of the East Coast meets Rainbow Brite?

Wicked Witch of the East Coast meets Rainbow Brite?

You may wonder how I inherited the name “Tina Turner Legs”. Well, a few years ago I was working out at my old Bally’s in Dallas, doing one of the leg machines, when a lady comes up to me. She says, “Damn, girl, you got Tina Turner legs”. I can’t imagine the look on my face when I said, “Thank you?” in return.

At the time I was working on a project with Jen and Jamila, so I shared the story with them. They found it hilarious and it’s been a joke between us ever since. Sometime after the comment was made, we were wrapping up work for the day, and I went into the ladies room to change into my workout gear, so I could hit the gym on my way home. I’m not a fan of gym locker rooms, so I preferred to change at the client site. Jen and Jamila could not believe I changed into my workout clothes at the CLIENT SITE so they decided to take a picture of me. I was feeling a little sassy, so decided to pose showing off one of my Tina Turner legs. They of course thought this photo was ridiculous, but it’s a photo Jamila and I have to take together every time we see each other. It’s really too much.

The original TT Legs - circa 2006

The original TT Legs – circa 2006

You can expect to see a lot of TT Legs on the walk in October.

Official TT Legs Pose of 2009

Official TT Legs Pose of 2009

Official TT Legs Pose of 2010

Official TT Legs Pose of 2010

Official TT Legs of 2011 - The most risque TT Legs to date

Official TT Legs of 2011 – The most risque TT Legs to date

Jen, Jamila, Christen and I have signed up to do the Avon 2 Day Breast Cancer Walk in Charlotte on October 27-28.  We’re all CPA’s and met while working at EY, so we (Christen) came up with the super clever team name “Walkin’ for our Assets”.  Between now and October, you’ll be seeing some blog updates related to training and the walk.  Christen is still a part of our team, but is now “knocked up” with twins, so she’ll be walking vicariously through us the end of October.  We’ll have to Skype her during the walk and such.  I’m really excited about it (insert jazz hands) and can’t wait to start raising money.

Speaking of… here’s a link to our team page.  And here’s a link to my fundraising page.  Stay tuned for more updates, including a training video recently shot.  Oh yeah.

The team:

Me, Jen and Christen enjoying a game of pool in DC

Me, Jen and Christen enjoying a game of pool in DC

Jamila and I "clownin'" outside of Jason's Deli

Jamila and I “clownin'” outside of Jason’s Deli

Nicknames for the team:

Jen = JB(a) (recently married, so we have to accomodate the new initial)

Jamila = JAM (see James Brown video at the 1:05 mark)

Christen = Little Dipper (inside crockpot joke)

Me = Tina Turner Legs/Jazz Hands (cause they’re my favorite)

And last but not least… the special lady I’m walking for!

During my recent trip to NYC/LBI, I had the pleasure of toting along my new camera, aka “The Rebel”.  I wasn’t the designated picture taker for the weekend, but decided I’d bring it along to play around with it a bit.  My favorite feature so far is the sports setting.  You can just hold down the clicker and it takes a ton of pictures really quickly.

I can’t show my favorite sequence, it involves a lighthouse and is a bit naughty, but I can show the sequence that produced the most amazing picture ever.

At first glance, we just thought it looked like a fun sequence of pictures.  But, upon second glance we realized we were sitting on a bid of gold.  Alyson had just taken a shower and clipped back part of her hair as it was drying.  Look a little closer…

That is one fine lookin’ mullet if I’ve ever seen one!  Of course, this inspired me to do a little photoshop action… clearly, I had a vision.  And it involved two words, four syllables.

El Camino.  The mullet of cars.  Business in the front, party in the back.  Rawr.

This happens to everyone at some point or another… you’re at your desk, carrying on multiple IM conversations and you accidentally send the wrong message to the wrong person.  Today, I was talking to a co-worker about my Urban Dictionary word-of-the-day, while carrying on a conversation with Amy about UT football tickets.

Today’s word is “mouse arrest”.  Which means getting grounded from the family computer.  I don’t know if it’s because it’s Friday or what, but I thought it was funny.  After sharing the word and definition with my coworker, I began to type the sample phrase they include, but of course, I sent it to Amy accidentally.  Whoops.

Me: Do you know what face value are for them in that section?

Amy: I think it is $75

Me:  ok, so those you found are probably FV

Amy: the UT box office has $75 as the price for all tix for that game
            Stub Hub has some for $65-68
            not much of a difference

Me: I’d say go ahead and get those and I’ll just work on getting the extra ticket
           from our family friend… unless  you can wait a week or two.  

          after my mom found my pornfolio, she put me on mouse arrest

 Amy: haha

 Me: sorry… wrong IM

 Amy: hahahahaha
          I still really enjoyed it

Totally a random thing to IM and I’m just glad it went to Amy and not someone else who’d I’d feel uncormfortable discussing my “pornfolio” with.

I’ve always had a fascination with dreams.  Even the ones Fleetwood Mac sing about.  Perhaps it stemmed from the 4th grade when Sarah and I had to do a report on something and we chose REM, as in rapid eye movement sleep, not the band.  My Mom drove us to some old school ladies salon/hair care product store in North Austin, because it was the only one in town that sold the styrofoam heads that you can display wigs on.  Using our artistic abilities, we cut out a chunk of the back of the head and with play-dough, we constructed a little scene of someone shopping the produce aisle of a grocery store.  Pretty lame dream, I know.  I think we were trying to exemplify that people often have very basic, everyday like dreams.

The one I had last night was so not ordinary.  Maybe for Ted Bundy, but not for myself.  I dreamed that some mass murderer attacked my sorority house, while I was across the street watching.  The other people with me rushed across the street to the sorority house to help save our sisters, but I dilly-dallied around where I was because… hello, they were killing people over there!  I woke up this morning feeling extremely guilty for not putting myself in danger and also because I thought our old president (not you, Robyn) had died. 

Then, this afternoon I was telling my coworker about my crazy dream and her response was, “Oh my gosh!  How bizarre!  And just after you had that other dream recently where your guy friend was killing people”.  I had completely forgotten that one. 

All of my good friends were living on the same street (like Wisteria Lane in Desperate Housewives) and I was the only one that knew that Jay was killing people and burying them under his house.  I kept thinking, “How does Suz not know that Jay is a murderer?  Should I tell her?”.  But, I was too scared to say anything because I thought I’d get in trouble for knowing all along.  And I started to sweat BIG TIME when Margaret and John had been missing for a month and everyone kept asking about where they were.  Well, I knew…

Yeah, extremely sick and twisted dreams.  I used to think I should keep a journal of my dreams, but I’m a little too scared to analyze these dreams I’m having lately.  And I should probably stop sharing them with people at work.  Not sure what they are starting to think of me.

I love them.  Now that I don’t receive 15 Elvis calendars a year for Christmas, I have to venture out and find my own.  Last year my daily calendar was The Office.  It was always entertaining.  This year, I’m going with one from Urban Dictionary.  I typically only learn new slang words and phrases when Jamila visits, so I figured this would be a good opportunity to expand my street vocabulary.

Today I learned that I have a “people voice”.  Here is the definition:

The voice someone uses when talking to people who aren’t their friends.  This voice is automatically happy, nicer, and sweeter than their normal voice; it is also often more high-pitched.  This is the voice people use when answering a telephone, talking to their boss, or when working in retail”.

It’s really true.  I have a people voice.  I expect my friends would agree.  In high school, I used to get made fun of when my Grandma J called and I answered, “HI GRANDMA” in a super high-pitched voice.  What makes me do it?  Who knows.

A couple other phrases have also hit home…

“That’s crazy”.  The perfect response when you haven’t been listening at all; it works whether the other person has been saying something funny, sad, infuriating, or boring.  I’m totally guilty of this. 

“Frunk”.  To act very drunk when you have not consumed as much alcohol as you said, to fake being drunk.  Don’t hold it against me, but when I was a kid and my Dad would let me have an O’Douls, I would totally frunk.   I thought it was funny.  I still do.