To update all of you who have been on the edge of your seats awaiting the results from my biometric screening… well, I wish I had more exciting news to report.   I’ve only earned myself a few more percentage points of a discount.  Thanks to having an “optimal” cholesterol.  Whaaaa?

My cholesterol report came in the mail last night.  It was the last piece of information I needed to find out if I’d make my discount goal or not.  I opened the envelope, expecting to see a total cholesterol in the 140-150 range where it’s been the last few times it’s been checked, and my jaw dropped when I saw 202 on the paper.  I couldn’t believe it!  Over 200!

I had a mini panic attack as I racked my brain thinking about what would have changed over the last 2 years to increase my cholesterol so much.  Was it stress-induced from studying for the CPA exam?  Was it that I incorporate more red meat into my diet and less fish than I used to?  WHAT COULD IT BE???

When I got to work this morning, I analyzed my individual numbers more closely and started to research what they mean.  Turns out, according to WedMD and every other source I found, my numbers are actually in the “optimal” category.  And my ratios are extremely good.  My LDL cholesterol (the bad kind) is 103 and the normal range is 60-130.  My HDL cholesterol (the good kind) is 86 and the normal range is 40-60 (but the higher the better).  My triglycerides are 65 and the normal range for those is 0 to 150.

So, what gives Whole Foods?  Why you gotta be hatin’?  I’m going to try eating a more plant-based diet, including more fish and less red meat (which doesn’t bode well for the 1/4 of a side of beef I just won in an auction).  I can get rescreened again in a couple of months to see if I can bring that LDL guy down a tad to get the better discount. 

But for tonight, I’m going to enjoy that lean steak and a glass of red wine (which lowers cholesterol, thankyouverymuch) and not feel a bit of guilt!