I am oblivious to most things, I think.  I really just don’t think a lot, or pay close attention to things.  Including my surroundings.  But, sometimes, those surroundings are unavoidable.  Tonight I was checking out at my ghetto Kroger when I witnessed something hilarious I couldn’t help but watch.

And no, it wasn’t the same time of funny as the time Mary and I about lost it at Albertson’s as a grocery cart with two kids in it went sailing, eventually tipping over, while the dad slowly reacted, throwing a bag full of vegetables in the air as he darted to catch them.  He didn’t make it in time.  Perhaps he should pay closer attention.  Ahem.

Back to tonight.  Grocery stores are usually loud, and my ghetto Kroger is no different.  I was checking out when all of a sudden I hear voices yelling.  Both ladies are grandmas, I’d presume, and had travelled to the store to pick up a bag of Fritos.  And were they ever grumpy!  Grumps #1 had taken the liberty of going through the self check out, but had somehow managed to leave Grumps #2, who was using one of those walkers with the tennis balls that cap the bottom of the legs, in the freezer section without telling her she was gonna go ahead and check out.  This didn’t please Grumps #2 and she paraded, ever so slowly, to the check out lanes yelling for Grumps #1.  Here is the dialogue.  Please note I’m using all caps to really emphasize the extremely loud volume of their voices.

Grumps #1: WHERE ARE YOU?????????????????
Grumps #2: I’M CHECKING OUT.  DID YOU EXPECT ME TO STEAL THE FRITOS?
Grumps #1: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO CHECK OUT?
Grumps #2: I TOLD YOU.  YOU CAN’T HEAR ME.
Grumps #1: YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME, I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE YOU WENT.
Grumps #2: WELL I CAME UP HERE TO CHECK OUT.  YOU DIDN’T WANT ME TO STEAL THIS DID YOU?

And on and on.  My scanner lady called for me twice to get my attention to sign my receipt, but for once I was fully engrossed in my surroundings.  Grumps #2 was so grumpy after that conversation that she walked out of the store 15 feet in front of Grumps #1, who was trudging along with her walker, mumbling about how she couldn’t believe Grumps #2 had acted so ridiculous back there. 

I just hope I never get old.  But, since that’s inevitable, I just hope I act more like the grandma we saw in Miami.  She was wasted the entire time we were there and wore an embroidered shirt with 5 Volkswagen Beetles on it that said, “Don’t Bug Me”.  That’s what I’m talking about…

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