I realized recently that I’ve become a Serial Returner (SR) meaning that I will go on shopping sprees only to end up returning the majority of what I buy. Its almost like an eating disorder… but for shopping. I am a bulimic when it comes to shopping.

For instance, last Friday at work the power went out at about 11am. We waited around for 15 or so minutes before being told that this would be a good day to take a two hour lunch. Bummer. So, what did I do? I went to Target. I spent my two hours of freedom at Target. I also spent about 200 bucks. Did I need to do this? No. Once I got home Friday I tried on all my purchases again and realized that either the crappy Target dressing room mirrors were very flattering or that I was smoking crack when I tried the stuff on. I put most of my purchases back in the bag, with receipt, and set it by the front door to get it ready for its return. On Saturday, I hit up the Gap and Old Navy and did the same thing. This morning as I was about to walk out my apartment door, I had three bags of stuff to return. I really don’t know what my deal is. I guess I’ve realized that if I am not sure on something, I buy it anyways. I can always return it later. I am getting too comfortable with this…surely these stores will catch on to my madness and start rejecting my card when I am checking out?

I think the root or starting point of when I became an SR began one day in middle school when I went shopping with Dan and my Mom wasn’t with us. Dan’s motto is “if you think you’ll wear it, buy it, regardless of the price”. Mom is more of a bargain shopper. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent playing underneath the clothing racks at Ross and Steinmart as a child. It was entertaining for a while, but by the 3rd or 4th hour I was probably ready to go. I quickly learned that shopping with Dan was a whole new kind of fun. The day we went to the mall was around the time when Abercrombie & Fitch was becoming popular and they used to sell bazillions of wool sweaters. I wanted them all. I picked out about 5 on this shopping trip. Yes, I realized that these were WOOL sweaters and that I lived in TEXAS. But, I had to have them, FIVE of them. Once we got back to the house and Mom asked what all we had gotten, I showed her my beloved A&F sweaters and she probably hadn’t finished looking at second one before telling me I had to take them back. I could chose one, but the rest were being returned. I didn’t need that many wool sweaters. In hindsight she was right, but still it was a major buzz kill. Dan and I were never allowed to go shopping again just the two of us.

And now I’m off to return all the unnecessary crap I bought this weekend.

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