Daniel

January 11, 2010 in Health, Me | Leave a comment

My brother, you are older than me.  Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won’t heal?

Three years ago, when Jamila and I were “surviving” Nortel, she introduced me to the Daniel Fast.  Three weeks.  No animal products.  Whole grains only. No booze.  No sweets.

“In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.” Daniel 10:2, 3

She survived on veggie soup from Jason’s Deli as well as Frito’s and tortilla chips (they are whole grain, right?).  This was also the same time I had ordered Jason’s to be delivered and they forgot the lettuce on my salad.  Seriously.  I was just an innocent bystander to the fast at the time, but this year I somehow made a promise that I would join her. 

I am right at the halfway mark of my sober-sugarless-vegan trial.  It’s not been as easy as I was hoping.  January 1 was cake.  It all sounded like a marvelous idea at the time, especially given I’d had my share of vodka the night before.  A cleansing of the system for New Years.  What better way to kick off 2010? 

Fast forward to now, after multiple nights drinking water in a bar, every night ordering a grilled chicken salad (sans the chicken) for dinner at work,  and missing out on Elvis’ birthday cake.   It’s not the most glamorous life imaginable, but I have learned to really enjoy Amy’s California “Burgers”.  And I made a pretty sweet tofu smoothie this morning.  I will say I am amazed at the number of faux meats that Whole Foods carries.  Burgers, roasts, tamales, you name it.  When I see all these things on the aisles, it kinda makes me giggle.  Anyone want to have tofurkey at Thanksgiving next year?

In the meantime, I’m going to pull through.  I do feel a protein void in my life.  I honestly can’t wait to kill a grilled chicken breast.  Most likely I will eat it with my hands and dip it in ketchup like a little kid.  Also, I seem some chocolate in my future.  As well as beer, vodka and wine.  Oh my.

The big one

January 8, 2010 in Me, Music | Leave a comment

Now that I’m off my soapbox, let’s get on to the one thing that’s been good about this week.  Elvis’ 75th birthday. 

In typical fashion, I’m celebrating the day much like I have in years past.  I set the Tivo to record all the movies airing today.  And also the E! True Hollywood story on LMFP (just for you, nans).  Viva Las Vegas, Blue Hawaii, Jailhouse Rock, Spinout, Speedway and Elvis on Tour.  That’s what I’ve got waiting for me once this work week is through. 

For breakfast I had a PB&B sandwich (english muffin).  And tonight we are going to Chuy’s for the birthday bash.  I’ve been tuned into Elvis Radio all day, which is broadcasting live from Graceland, so I was able to catch the cake cutting ceremony this morning on the front lawn.  Priscilla and Lisa Marie were there.  Heck yes. 

I’m also wearing these bad boys that I picked up on our last trip to Graceland.  Which is just what I’m doing today… Takin’ Care of Business (in a flash).

Now, to continue my blog tradition… here’s the latest Top 10 Things Elvis.  I’m going with my favorite Elvis quotes, either by him or said about him.  I hope you enjoy…

Top 10 Elvis Quotes

10. “A lot of people have accused Elvis of stealing the black man’s music, when in fact, almost every black solo entertainer copied his stage mannerisms from Elvis.” – Jackie Wilson

9. “You have no idea how great he is, really you don’t. You have no comprehension – it’s absolutely impossible.  I can’t tell you why he’s so great, but he is.  He’s sensational.” – Phil Spector

8. “His kind of music is deplorable, a rancid smelling aphrodisiac.  It fosters almost totally negative and destructive reactions in young people.” -Frank Sinatra, 1950’s

7. “You know, Bush is always comparing me to Elvis in sort of unflattering ways. I don’t think Bush would have liked Elvis very much, and that’s just another thing that’s wrong with him.” – Bill Clinton, during the 1992 presidential campaign.

6. “There have been a lotta tough guys. There have been pretenders. And there have been contenders. But there is only one king.” – Bruce Springsteen

5. “Before Elvis, there was nothing.” – John Lennon

4. “That’s my idol, Elvis Presley. If you went to my house, you’d see pictures all over of Elvis. He’s just the greatest entertainer that ever lived. And I think it’s because he had such presence. When Elvis walked into a room, Elvis Presley was in the f***ing room. I don’t give a f*** who was in the room with him, Bogart, Marilyn Monroe.” – Eddie Murphy

3. “I wasn’t just a fan, I was his brother. He said I was good and I said he was good; we never argued about that. Elvis was a hard worker, dedicated, and God loved him. Last time I saw him was at Graceland. We sang Old Blind Barnabus together, a gospel song. I love him and hope to see him in heaven. There’ll never be another like that soul brother.” – James Brown

2. “Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.” -Elvis

1. “When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times… I learned very early in life that:

‘Without a song, the day would never end;
Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend;
Without a song, the road would never bend;
Without a song.’

So I keep singing a song.”

- Elvis, from his acceptance speech for the 1970 Ten Outstanding Young Men of the Nation Award.

Watching that always gives me chills.  Happy birthday, E.

Soapbox

January 8, 2010 in Me, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Last night’s game was a big bummer.  Not because Texas lost, but because Texas didn’t get to play at their full capacity.  Which would have provided a much more fair and exciting game.  Not to say it wasn’t exciting, because it definitely was.  At least in the beginning and the end.  Not the very very end though.

I’ve realized there is a lot to be said for a person that is from the state of Texas, who didn’t go to UT, that can still cheer for the home team.  I made the mistake of checking Facebook too many times last night during the game, only to be frustrated at the abundance of (not to name any names) Tech, A&M and TCU fans (whoops) who were “roll tiding”, making fun of Colt and joking about how all the UT fans, who didn’t go to school at Texas, will be returning their burnt orange shirts to Walmart. 

I didn’t go to UT and I am not ashamed to admit I’m a fan, even after they lost last night.  I’m just as proud today as I would have been had we won.  I’m just not as giddy, because, well, we lost.  I will even admit I’m a bigger Longhorn fan that I am a TCU fan.  Sorry, it’s true.  I grew up on Longhorn football and so when I root for the Horns, I am in a way reminiscing my childhood.  For 18 years of my life (minus the brief stint I had being an Aggie… thanks relatives), I lived in Austin and was surrounded by the excitement and enthusiasm that is Texas Football.  All of the memories I have sitting in my parents seats, playing football with Kelley at halftime, and seeing the other fans in our section over the years… they all come back to me when I watch Texas play. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love TCU.  I had the opportunity to go to Texas, but I chose TCU because I thought it would be a better fit.  And it was a great fit, I had the best experience possible.   But, that doesn’t mean I can’t root for the Longhorns and not be taken seriously because I didn’t go to school there.  No one in the DFW area went to The University of Cowboys, but they can still be a fan of the home team.  So, why is it such a big deal to be from Austin and be a fan of Texas? 

I do think Texas would have won last night had Colt not been injured so early.  However, it’s our own fault for not playing Gilbert more all season that we did.  I can’t imagine the pressure he felt last night and after seeing him in the second half, I’m even more excited for next year.

Hook ‘em and Go Frogs.

All for a cup o’ joe

January 7, 2010 in Me, Random Occurances | 1 comment

About a year ago, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to stop getting Starbucks every morning.  I attempted to make a home-brew Monday – Thursday and then treat myself to the real deal only on Friday’s. 

I lasted the better part of a year.  Morning coffee is a tricky formula to get right.  There’s the issue of transporting it.  Even with using the 4 Starbucks tumblers I had purchased, there was still significant amount of spillage.  You wash those in the dishwasher ONE time and the plastic get’s jacked up.  Just screwing the cap one would cause a few dribbles of coffee to fall on your hands.  Or your clothing.  Not the best way to get the day started.  There is also the issue of temperature.  By the time my 30 minute commute to work is over, my coffee is cold.  There is the option of reheating it, but you can’t to that in the tumbler.  Plastic would leak into my coffee and I would die.  I could pour the coffee into a mug and reheat that, but that involves way too many variables for a simple cup of coffee.  And sometimes it hurts.

Long story short, in order to save my health and mental sanity, I decided it’s best to just pay $2 a day for a good, strong cup of fresh coffee.  I reasoned that since I am single, I work hard and I don’t eat lunch out, I can afford it.  Which brings me to the point of this post.

I’ve been stopping at a new Starbucks the last couple of months.  I used to stop there often until one Friday I had a run in with Bob Marley.  Since it’s convenient, I’ve been going back.  Carefully.  About two months ago, I noticed this grungy guy standing behind the cream and sugar kiosk.  He would kinda of watch me and one day he said, “Hey”.  I wasn’t sure if he was homeless or just creepy.  Turns out he works there because a few days later he was behind the front counter. 

He seemed like a pretty nice guy and I always love having a barista know my order by heart.  He’d see me walk in and would grab my grande decaf, so it was ready by the time I checked out.  Occasionally, we’d share small talk.  He once told me it was “always nice to see you”.  I just thought this Starbucks branch was exceptional with customer service.  And then came the big one.  Yesterday.  Donovan was pouring my coffee the moment I walked in the door.  I said to him, “Wow, you are fast”.  He said, “Well, I saw you drive up”.  He asked how my day went and then as I was turning to walk away, he says, “Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee with me sometime”? Surprised, I said, “Um, sure”.  He responded, “Ok, well you know where to find me”.

Which means now I am in a pickle.  Donovan is really nice and I enjoy having an attentive barista, but he is not really my type.  And I don’t really want to jeopardize our “relationship” because I do enjoy the service.  So, I’m not sure what to do.  I stalled today and went to another Starbucks.  But, that can be blamed on the “arctic blast”… for all he knows, maybe I’m a teacher and had the day off.

I am open to suggestions on how to make this not an awkward situation.  Do I have coffee with him?  Do I just avoid the subject each time I see him? 

It’s funny to me that he choose a coffee date.  I guess he figured he was safe in asking me to do something we both have in common.

I got the jams

January 6, 2010 in Me, Music | Leave a comment

For those that sit in a cubicle all day and have the option to listen to music, I highly recommend Sirius radio.  It’s probably the only thing that will carry me through busy season.  At first I wasn’t sure how much I needed it, given that I’ve got a massive music collection here on my iPod.  But, I always seem to run into trouble trying to make a decision about what I want to listen to.  Unless it’s clearly a Billy day or I’m in a Hall & Oats mood.

I’ve developed a little daily routine, much like my old gum chewing ways (cinnamon, green mint, blue mint, fruity, oh my).  In the mornings I start off on the Elvis channel.  Just to get a little soulful kickstart to my day.  I jam to Elvis for an hour or two and then when I’m warmed up, I turn on E Street Radio (aka 24/7 Bruce).  I rock out to the Boss for the better part of the day.  Usually listen to a concert or two.  When I start to get tired mid to late afternoon, I have to switch it over to the 80’s channel.  Yahtzee!  I’m pumped up again, but more so in a delirious state.  The 80’s carry me through dinner and usually the rest of the evening.  Sometimes I’ll switch over to Classic Vinyl or the 90’s stations for a little while. 

That’s it and that’s all.  I attempted to go over to the #1 hits station (the Kiss FM of satellite radio), but I started to feel light-headed so I had to go back.  Guess I am an old soul.

Aside from my work mental state being at an all-time high, I do think my productivity has soared as well.  The only thing is I really need to watch it on the air guitar.  My cubicle wall ain’t that high.

A long December

January 5, 2010 in Family, Friends, Health, Me, Pictures, Rocky, Travel | Leave a comment

Hold your breath, I am back.  It was a busy December and since I’m low on time these days, I’m gonna quickly recap the last couple weeks. 

I already told you about Graceland.  And about the Elfing.  So after that, there was the White Rock Marathon Relay.  I ran with Robyn and some her of Speech Path peeps.  I had the last leg, which was 6.2 and slightly downhill most of the way.  Which is probably why I was able to set a 10K PR of 47:48.  The nervous energy had been bundling up all morning as I waited for my turn and so it’s no wonder I thought I was going to pass out at the 3 mile marker when my time was under 22 minutes.  I took about 3 ten second baby walk breaks but kept up my pace.  Originally, I was hoping I could keep us under the 4 hour mark, but when it got closer, I decided to shoot for under 3:45.  And we did just that… 3:44.  6th place in your division isn’t too shabby. 

That same weekend I also took my Audit final and (hopefully) became CPA eligible.  I’ve re-evaluated my transcript 15 times to make sure I meet the requirements, so unless there’s something dumb I  missed, I should be in.  And with that I made the plunge and purchased my CPA review course.  Holy Batman balls, that stuff ain’t cheap.  It costs about 3 times what it should, in my humble opinion.  FYI, come March when I plan to start studying, you might not see or hear from me for a while.  And it won’t be because your armpits stink.

Christmas came next and there are really only two things to say about that.

One, here are the tackiest Christmas decorations I’ve ever seen.  An inflatable Santa popping out of a NASCAR car with a polar bear waving a checkered flag?  Really, Texas?  And yes, I maneuvered my way on to these people’s lawn to get a close-up.

Two, what could be a better Christmas gift than matching his and her’s Snuggies?  I really don’t think it get’s any better than this.

I know I left out a lot, but there are a few highlights.  Stay tuned for an update on the Daniel Fast as well as my new ride…

A Christmas Story

December 16, 2009 in Friends, Pictures, Stories | Leave a comment

Just in time for the holidays, I have a new Christmas story to share.  My dear friend, Suzanna, told it to me the other day and I couldn’t resist passing it along.  It’s a story about two elves who attended a party at their friend Laurie’s house.  I hope you enjoy!

Here’s a story about naughty elves…

Here they are up on arrival, they look nice enough…

But then they did a jig in front of the tree to celebrate the start of Christmas, which

made them very tired so they had to take a quick nap, which

made their armpits a little stinky and their hair really greasy so they took a shower and

were caught in the act!

Nature calls at odd times,  you can’t help it.  Good thing she has two toilets in her bathroom!

Elves love babies so they stopped to say hi to the one on the couch.

Posing with the Christmas activities is what elves do best!

Naughty elves, they took a trench coat, Monica Lewinsky photo.  You have to keep an eye on them!

Love,

Emily Elf and Suzanna Elf

The chair

December 10, 2009 in Me, Stories | Leave a comment

I wish this was going to be a story about a really cute drunk guy hitting on me in a bar, mumbling about how I stole this chair.  But, it’s not.  And it’s not going to be about the death penalty either.  It’s about the dentist’s chair.  What once was my beloved dentist’s chair has now become a memory of pain and awkwardness.

Let’s begin.  It was a chilly Thursday afternoon in December when I went to see the wizard dentist.  For just your run of the mill third nipple filling.  I’m always late to the dentist and today was no exception.  Upon arrival, I was escorted to the back, to a room I’ve never been in before.  By a hygienist that is not my beloved hygienist.  This lady assured me it would be a quick procedure and in my mind I was thinking 15 minutes tops. Surely the field of dentistry has made some strides in recent years and can fill a tooth with out obscene amounts of drilling.  I was wrong.

When she hooked me up to the laughing gas, I thought things were looking up.  She then did the routine blood pressure and pulse check, except this time she hooked me up to a machine.  And I stayed hooked up the whole time.  She worried a little when she felt my ice cold hands and she worried a little more when the pulse machine wouldn’t stop beeping because my pulse was in the 40’s.  However, she kept on with her duties, sticking a larger than life piece of cotton/cloth in my mouth as she numbed my gums.  As we waited for the stuff to kick in, she started talking about Bunko.  I don’t recall how we got to talking about Bunko, I was already feeling the effects of my “afternoon cocktail”.  But, what I do know is that it is extremely hard to fake laugh at someone’s “funny” story when you have a softball sized piece of cotton in your mouth.  

About this time my dentist walks in.  We exchange Merry Christmases and he says “This will take just a minute”.  As he started peering into my mouth, I do my best to avoid eye contact and look straight up, at the overhead light thingy. Which always reminds me of John Ritter because the brand that makes it is called “Ritter”.  Maybe it’s just because it’s the holiday season, but I realized that when I look at my dentist from the corner of my eye, he shares an awfully close resemblance to the Grinch.  Minus being green, of course.

Things start getting a little more serious and he assures me that I shouldn’t feel any pain.  And just to raise my hand (that’s still hooked up to the pulse monitor) if I do.  The drilling begins.  And a funny thing happens. Maybe it’s the “afternoon cocktail” again, but I got a major whiff of Cool Ranch Doritos when the drill was a-drillin’.  That favorable smell went by the wayside as soon as he took a water break and the hygienist attempts to do me a favor by spraying some kind of breath spray in my mouth. Holy Batman, I think I just took a large bite of cinnamon potpourri!  My eyes were already popped out of my head from the drilling, so I don’t think the hygienist caught on that I did. not. like. that. Lucky for me, she sprayed me twice more before I was done.

The dentist finally fills my molar and he tells me, “It’s time to cool off from the nitrous because we are wrapping up”.  A) I’m a pro at the nitrous by now and it takes 3 seconds of standing up for me to sober up from it, and B) Unlike Lil Flip, I can’t drink one beer and be drunk (I can’t do that, I can’t do that).  He and the hygienist make no effort to remove the nitrous belt from my nose, so I sit there and enjoy the scenery a little longer.  He notices that the pulse machine is still beeping from my extremely low pulse and starts questioning me.  Low pulse, low blood pressure, tiredness in the afternoon… why, I think she might be hypoglycemic.  And then I go ahead and tell him I’m a runner.  Why didn’t you just say so!  He starts going on and on about his days when he was a runner and how good it used to make him feel.  

A few more minutes go by and then comes the awkward starfish.  He says, “Let me be your surrogate father for a minute, what kind of protection do you use”?  SMACK.  Praise the Lord that I fumbled around with what I was going to say for a minute, until he interjects, “My step-daughter is a runner and I bought her a stun gun to carry with her when she runs”.  Hello, relief.  So, we’re talkin’ ’bout that kind of protection.  He used to teach self-defense classes and because I was so relieved, I let him carry on for another 10 minutes about protection.

An hour and 15 minutes later, I checked out.  Still in such a state of relief, I gave the front desk receptionist a jolly, “See ya next year!” on the way out.

Moral of the story.  Be safe out there.

Graceland Graceland Memphis Tennessee

December 9, 2009 in Family, Me, Travel, Weekend Updates | Leave a comment

Last weekend was the annual pilgrimmage to visit Graceland Dan’s parents.  We accomplished a lot this trip, including Corky’s, Graceland, the Lorraine Motel, Sun Studios and the Commissary.  I definitely came back full of Elvis and BBQ.  And I ain’t complainin’.

Christmas is a special time at Graceland.  The nativity scene is in the front yard.  Lights are strewn about.  There are many Christmas trees within the mansion.  It’s just a happy time of year.  And my favorite time for visiting.

The famous peacocks in the living room.  Remember these next time you visit my apartment.

My usual Jungle Room shot for Mary.  Still no trace of Marilyn!

Believe it or not, this is the 14th time I’ve paid my respects to Elvis.  My Mom, too.  Although something tells me she isn’t as proud of this fact as I am.  Thanks Mom, you’re such a trooper.

Once the tour was over, Suz and I schemed to get a shot of me on the webcam.  Yes, there is a Graceland webcam.  And yes, we are awesome.  The tour guides were probably wondering why we were farting around in front of the mansion for 15 minutes, but it was well worth it.  Do you see what I see?

Pretty much awesome.  Thanks for being a nerd with me, Suz.  Next stop was the Lorraine Motel where MLK was assassinated many years ago.

And what trip to Memphis would be complete without a stop by Sun Studios?  Where Rock and Roll was born.

Enlarged hammy

November 25, 2009 in Health, Me, Random Occurances | Leave a comment

This morning I was planning on getting up uber early, getting to the gym, running and lifting and then grabbing a Starbucks on the way to the office.  At 5:30, when my alarm went off, I decided it was best to snooze for 45 minutes and just run around the neighborhood.  That way I could sleep in a bit longer, and maybe get to work a bit earlier.  Being a chronic morning dilly-dally-er, I can tell you that only one of those goals was accomplished.

When my alloted snoozing time had passed, I checked my iPhone to see what the temperature was outside.  Would it be a tights or shorts morning I wondered?  Most definitely tights seeing as it was 39 degrees out.  Have no fear, I love cold weather running.  I got myself dressed and decided I should wear this new white slim fit running shirt underneath my long sleeve shirt, just for extra warmth.

About a block into the run I realized the under shirt was unnecessary.  Not because I was hot, but because it was almost the same material as my tights and therefore continued to ride up above my belly button every half block or so.  Annoying.  Once I was a couple miles in and I was good and warm, I decided to maneuver the shirt off.  I didn’t want to carry it the rest of the way, so I tucked it in the back of my rights, sorta like a cape.  About a half mile later, I reached back to check on the cape, and realized it wasn’t there.  Great.  I turned around, retraced my steps thinking it had fallen out somewhere and I would have no trouble finding it.

Never saw the dang thing.  And in my mind I was thinking, this figures because I just bought the shirt last week and this was it’s inaugural wear.  After I crossed the point of where I took the shirt off, I gave up and headed back for the house.  When I got there, I let Rocky out and did some crunches in the grass while he was releasing the two eggs I gave him for breakfast (because I was too lazy to get dog food at the store last night).  After the crunching, I grabbed the hindside of my hamstrings in an attempt to pull myself up.  Whoooaaaaaaaa, Nelly, why is my right hamstring HUGE?!?!?!

I guess my rear was so numb from the cold that it couldn’t feel the shirt slink its way down my tights to my leg.  I only wonder how many people in cars I frightened today with my unusually enlarged hamstring?